1. “Don’t insult my intelligence; I’ve got a blind spot, not a blind mind.”
2. “Being blind doesn’t mean I can’t see through your BS.”
3. “I may not see your face, but I’m definitely picturing it in my nightmares.”
4. “Some might say I’m blind to danger; I say I’m just used to it.”
5. “Deadpool calls me fearless; I call him clueless.”
6. “Cooking for Wade is an adventure; dodging his food is a skill.”
7. “Who needs sight when you’ve got sarcasm?”
8. “In the house of madness, I’m the reigning queen.”
9. “Feel free to underestimate me; it’s more entertaining when you fail.”
10. “Navigating life is easy—it’s surviving Wade that’s the challenge.”
11. “Join me for tea; just don’t ask what’s in the pot.”
12. “I play cards like I cook: unpredictably, yet oddly satisfying.”
13. “Blindness isn’t an obstacle, it’s an asset when avoiding drama.”
14. “There’s beauty in blindness—you get to imagine everyone’s ugly side.”
15. “Insanity is relative around here; I’m just the blind voice of reason.”
16. “If only hindsight were 20/20… Oh wait, that’s someone else’s problem.”
17. “Seeing double? I don’t even see single.”
18. “When life gives you lemons, be grateful you can’t see how sour they look.”
19. “I may be blind, but I’ve got an eye for chaos.”
20. “No sight, no problem—Deadpool provides all the visuals anyone could handle.”
21. “Watch where you step; even I know when to avoid a landmine.”
22. “House rules: if you’re in my kitchen, you’re in my crosshairs.”
23. “I listen to the world like a radio; trust me, it’s mostly static.”
24. “Cookbooks are overrated; recipes are more flavorful when improvised.”
25. “With Wade around, who needs a television?”
26. “Real danger lies in the unseen; welcome to my world.”
27. “Cynicism keeps the eyes sharp and the wits sharper.”
28. “The safest thing about this house is my inability to see it.”
29. “Vision is overrated; it’s the mischief map I’m worried about.”
30. “The stove is my throne; enter at your own peril.”
31. “I prefer blind faith over blind panic. Each day is a toss-up.”
32. “Not everything that’s shattering is glass; sometimes it’s just your illusions.”
33. “The louder it gets, the more suspicious I become.”
34. “Blind faith is my specialty; dealing with Wade is the proof.”
35. “Always trust a blind woman to know more than she sees.”
36. “What’s black and white and red all over? Wade’s latest disaster.”
37. “Another quiet day means nothing’s exploded—yet.”
38. “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t trip over the swords.”
39. “I write my own adventure stories; Wade just lives in them.”
40. “Tripping hazards make life thrilling, especially when you can’t see them.”
41. “Age gives me an edge—those senses are far more refined now.”
42. “I don’t need eyes to see through your excuses.”
43. “In our household, the quietest thing is usually the bomb.”
44. “Reading people is my forte—not needing eyes is just a perk.”
45. “A wrong move might cost you a limb, but that won’t stop Wade from trying.”
46. “Caution: I’m not your average blind housemate.”
47. “Life’s a messy kitchen; embrace the chaos or be consumed by it.”
48. “I’m not blind to the world’s troubles; I just choose when to engage.”
49. “Silence is when things get interesting—or deadly.”
50. “My world is built on sound and intuition; good luck hiding from me.”
A Quirky Encounter: Blind Al Meets Tony Stark
Blind Al: You know, Tony, when Wade invited me to this fancy shindig of yours, I thought it was just another one of his pranks. Like that time he convinced me we were going to Disney World and we ended up at a taxidermist’s convention.
Tony Stark: Al, you wound me. I assure you, this gathering is very much not a prank. We have far too many dignitaries here for that. Well, unless Wade has invited the entire New York circus again.
Blind Al: Good to know, Stark. I was half-expecting balloon animals and possibly a juggling Deadpool. But tell me, I’ve always wondered—does the Iron Suit come in a women’s size? Asking for a less “sighted” friend who might fancy a little flying mischief.
Tony Stark: Ah, well, flying fashions are tricky, Al. It could be arranged, although I’m not sure how you’d accessorize with grenades and blindfolds.
Blind Al: Oh, please, darling. Accessories make the woman, or so they say. But these boots weren’t built just for walking. I can still handle an explosion or two with class.
Tony Stark: You’d fit right in with the Avengers. We have a thing for sarcastic quips under fire. Though I think Wade might explode with jealousy if I asked—but then, he does that anyway.
Blind Al: Ah yes, Wade and his penchant for picking fights and then talking heads off. Or as he calls it, ‘winning friends and influencing people.’ Speaking of which, how do you deal with him showing up unannounced in your life?
Tony Stark: The secret is setting all your notifications to silent. And having a cutting-edge security system help too—not that he isn’t endlessly creative in outsmarting it. How about you?
Blind Al: Oh, I just let him know exactly what’s for dinner. Nothing like a good revenge meatloaf with a side of, “I boiled this broccoli of mass destruction just for you.”
Tony Stark: A formidable defense strategy. I must say, Al, you know how to keep life interesting. Perhaps we should collaborate over keeping Wade on his toes—or just out of the fridge.
Blind Al: Name the time and place, Stark. And remember, wine always pairs well with mischief.
Together, Blind Al and Tony share a moment of camaraderie, enjoying the peculiar unpredictability that comes with knowing the Merc with a Mouth.