50 George Michael Bluth Quotes (Imaginary)

1. “Why does evasive driving always look cooler on TV?”

2. “I think I’m heading for a records-related identity crisis.”

3. “Sometimes, a frozen banana stand is just a family lifeline.”

4. “Is there an instruction manual for being normal?”

5. “It turns out, ethics is a lot more complicated than boysenberry with sprinkles.”

6. “Sometimes, eating a banana can be really complicated.”

7. “I’m just trying to be a good GM…George Michael.”

8. “Being named after my dad doesn’t mean I have his playbook.”

9. “Shouldn’t family slogans come with a disclaimer?”



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10. “If it was up to me, we’d sell jumpsuits, not banana stands.”

11. “Ice cream sandwiches don’t typically lead to existential crises.”

12. “Was I the only one who missed the ‘how to be the perfect son’ seminar?”

13. “How many blunders will it take before I’m officially like Dad?”

14. “I guess dating isn’t like riding a segway after all.”

15. “When school gets too much, I find solace in family…sometimes.”

16. “You know you have a unique upbringing when honesty sounds like deception.”

17. “It’s difficult to balance homework with banana stand bookkeeping.”

18. “Why dismiss honesty when it can be so elusive?”

19. “Is my romantic heart supposed to sync with the family business?”

20. “Communication should include mention of debts.”

21. “Having second names feel like second identities sometimes.”

22. “Does superhero status come before or after saving the family?”

23. “Sometimes, I think my family missed out on normal.”

24. “Do awkward family moments have warranties?”

25. “How do I avoid mistakes if Dad made them all?”

26. “Isn’t ‘going out’ supposed to be less daunting than a business proposal?”

27. “Family traditions: quirky and…questionable.”

28. “It’s hard to act normal when every turn is a dead-end.”

29. “I need a user guide for being myself…”

30. “Why is selling bananas more troublesome than it seems?”

31. “Family role: normalizer-in-training.”

32. “At this point, I really should learn how to build a house.”

33. “How did I end up with the blueprint gene?”

34. “Does life’s syllabus include draft notes on confidence?”

35. “Safety nets are just another family myth.”

36. “Can’t they just release a dad instruction manual?”

37. “Aren’t growing pains technically over by now?”

38. “Accountants didn’t mention balancing truth and tradition.”

39. “Truth isn’t exactly included with banana orders.”

40. “Does family legacy come with a refund policy?”

41. “What’s the statute of limitations for a normal childhood?”

42. “In my world, awkwardness is practically a second name.”

43. “I guess proficiency in awkwardness is our family’s trade secret.”

44. “Some days, I want to trade all this for just one normal dinner.”

45. “Are family secrets factored into post-grad plans?”

46. “Sometimes, the past feels like a verbal contract.”

47. “Why does adulting feel like a dictatorship?”

48. “If sanity were a dishwasher, I could use a rinse.”

49. “Why are blunders a carbon copy of Dad’s?”

50. “I bet in some parallel universe, I’m just a boy making banana smoothies.” 

A Quirky Chat Over Frozen Bananas: George Michael Bluth and Maeby Fünke

George Michael: Hey Maeby, can you pass me some more of that chocolate dip? I think I might have gone a little overboard with the nuts on this frozen banana.

Maeby: Sure thing, cousin. But I’m starting to think you’re only working at the banana stand to experiment with new toppings.

George Michael: (laughs nervously) Well, you know, there’s always money in the banana stand… and experimental dessert toppings are just a bonus.

Maeby: Speaking of experiments, how’s that “Fakeblock” thing going? Still using it as your brilliant distraction from the real world?

George Michael: Yeah, you got me. I realized I kind of, um, drifted into creating an anti-social networking site rather than, you know, something legit. It’s like… everyone keeps thinking it’s this huge deal!

Maeby: Really? You mean the hottest unplugged tech is a ruse? Who would’ve guessed? Next thing you’ll say is that Steve Holt doesn’t actually know his own name.

George Michael: Haha, poor Steve. But yeah, sometimes I think I have to pretend just to live up to, well, expectations. Like with Dad always “let’s run this place into the ground,” at least I’ll have my fake tech empire!

Maeby: Don’t worry, George Michael. As crazy as our family is, expectations are just like those new chocolate dips: sometimes too heavy, but you’ve gotta mix them up to keep it interesting.

George Michael: Spoken like a true Fünke. You think we should invent a new flavor to distract Lucille next time she comes by?

Maeby: Let’s call it “Bluth’s Delight”—confusing and sweet enough to silence any drama. How about it?

George Michael: It sounds perfect. We’ll just sell it alongside “The Maeby Maybe”—a flavor you’re never quite sure about, but always comes back to try again.

Maeby: See, now we’re getting somewhere! Who knew saving the family business could be this delicious?

George Michael: All thanks to the power of frozen bananas.

Maeby: And maybe just a pinch of dysfunctional creativity.

George Michael: Here’s to that!

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